Monday, December 7, 2015

First week/end down....

Every morning since this began I've woken up earlier than I normally do. Put on the kettle, (I've found a new love of tea) done some yoga to get my blood flowing, made actual breakfast, (which is a huge deal) and given myself time to meditate and fully wake up in time for work. By the way I'm always there early now!!!

At night, since I no longer have people to occupy my time after work, I very meticulously plot my path to bed. There's sleepy time yoga along with chamomile tea and honey. I meditate and listen to quiet music whilst cuddling my dogs. And finally around 11 I settle into bed with a book and read myself to sleep.

Pretty big upgrade I'd say from where I'd normally polish off my drink from the previous night in the morning and finish my night cuddling with a bottle.

I just finished my first booze free weekend and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I was tempted I'll admit and it wasn't easy but I fucking did it!!!

Friday, December 4, 2015

So much for the afterglow

So it's been years since I've written. I doubt anyone will see this and that's OK. I'm going through some major life changes and I really needed somewhere more private then Facebook to write about what's going on and what I'm feeling.
My failures and my wins all the things I'm going to put least for now.
My grammer is terrible and I'm also fine with that.

I'll just dive right in for
The last few years...or say like 5 years I've been a drinker. Not usually a heavy drinker always but I drank a bit nonetheless. The last 2 or so years it's increased dramatically. The past 6 months it's become such a problem that the love of my life finally left me 6 weeks ago and I've been in a fucking gigantic turmoil ever since. I've spent day after day either being entirely drunk or waiting impatiently to get out of work so I could get completely obliterated and forget how terrible I felt. I've fucked up friendships, I've destroyed relationships, I've lied and made excuses so I could stay at home and get drunk alone guilt free. I've been so ashamed, filled with crippling anxiety and fucking stricken with guilt and yet I still couldn't stop.
Finally this past Sunday I had a world class horrible night. Finally talked to my ex, cried my heart out, thought I was going to cave into my grief, just completely lost it. Woke up the next morning and realized enough is enough. I needed to pull my head out of my ass and get my life back on track.

I haven't been drunk since that night, it'll be a week tomorrow which is a pretty huge deal for me. I still think about it nonstop of course and I definitely didn't think it'd be quite this hard to quit.

It's late and I have work so I will abruptly end this and go attempt to sleep.
More tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Studying Abroad

Like I said earlier in the month of June I took my happy butt across the ocean all the way to Scotland. It was an amazing experience and one that I hope to do again, just this time hopefully with my dude instead of a bunch of strangers.
Ill try to make a few different posts chronicling  my time there without being too overwhelming. I should of done this right when I got back because I am afraid I have forgotten a few things but ahhhh procrastination how I love you.

 We left Nashville and arrived in the Newark airport in the afternoon. From there we boarded for the long flight over the ocean. I couldn't sleep as hard as I tried during that red eye so I stayed up watching in flight movies instead. We arrived at like 7am Scotland time which is 1am Nashville time. Needless to say I was started to get tired quick. We went through customs, got our baggage and boarded a bus to take the drive to Berwick upon Tweed which is actually in England. We got to our hostel and found out that the rooms wouldn't be ready for hours. We were sent off to roam the town until later in the afternoon. I was about ready to drop but we rallied and went to explore.

 The toilets are way different over I took quite a few pictures of them...I guess Im odd.

I wanted to try fish n' chips since I mean how many Americans have heard of that over the years. It just seemed like the thing to do. We found a shop went in and I talked the waiter into giving us some free haggis bites to try. That was also one of the things I told myself I had to do while over seas. I loved it, everyone else was a little grossed out by it.

By the time we finally got to actually get into our hostel I was beyond tired, I also didnt want to just pass out either since I knew itd make dealing with jet-lag harder. I tried very hard to at least stay awake till dinner. The rest of that day mostly consisted of reading my history book for class the next day and wandering around the little town. Also figuring out how the money works. People there werent very nice or patient at how confused we were. 

I think Ill close this day with another toilet picture. I was just amazed by how sparkly it cant really see it in this picture but I tried. This was at one of the few places actually opened past 5 in the afternoon. This town drove us all crazy at how early everything closed, the bars only were open till 12. We were still raring to go at that time. 

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Little update

Hey y'all it's been a while again. I've just been so busy lately and I don't always want an audience in my life. But I'm back for a little while at least. I thought I'd do a post about my time abroad in Scotland and such. It was a pretty crazy experiance and while I had fun I think next time I'll go with friends instead of a bunch of strangers. I'll try to post that all this week. 

So yea that's a little update and I'm going to be trying to keep it up for now.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

St Pattys Day

I am so random at picking up on this blog. I thought I might pop back on and write a little.
I have been back in school now, going on my second semester. I was studying for Vet Tech but I am not sure if I will continue on with that in my next semester. I love animals but do I really want to be underpaid to clean up after them the rest of my life? Do any of yall know Vets/vet techs and can give some advice?
 I also have been interning at Waldens Puddle which is a wild life animal rehab center here in Joelton Tn. It is definitely ALOT more work then I originally thought it would be. The staff there are saints and deserve more then they get for real.

There are a few pictures of some of the animals I cared for while working. It was a rad experience that is for sure but I learned I def. do not want to work at a place like that when I graduate. Its good work and someone has to do it but I like to play with animals and you cant really do that with the wild ones haha. Prolly a stupid reason but I guess that's part of why they make us do internships so we can see if we really want to do this or not. I did love getting to feed the baby flying squirrels. They are so soft, kinda like sugar gliders.

OOOh also I got accepted to study abroad this summer, so this June I will be heading to Scotland for a month. Words can not describe how excited I am to finally be going to see where my family is from. I can not wait! I am gonna try haggis and learn to speak Gaelic and see castles and and and I dont even know what else but its gonna rule. 

Other then that life has been pretty quiet. Just studying a lot and hanging out with my dog. I am ready for summer break and maybe will be able to have a life again. This semester has really been kicking my butt. The weather has been so nice all I want to do is ride my bike and hangout outside all day long. 

Monday, February 4, 2013


I really suck at bloggin dont i??? I just cant find the time. I miss it though I do. I sometimes realize I dont want to share my life with the world and have to take little or large breaks.
Life has changed so much since the summer. I need to sum it all some time for the few people that are still hanging on and following me.

How have all yall been???

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Random road trips

I decided out of the blue last Sunday night that I needed to visit my sister in Savannah Georgia. I hopped on a Megabus and 4 hours later I was in Atlanta where my sister was coming to pick me up.  Have y'all ever heard of Megabus? I just found out about it not too long ago. It's amazing and so so cheap!!  I'll be posting a more thorough blog later on about my trip. I just got home yesterday and I am already wanting to plan my next trip.