The last few days have been really good. Ive been feeling really blessed. My new job is just way better then I thought it was going to be. Ive actually been making ok money for the first time in a year. Its really refreshing to wake up and be happy to go to work instead of dreading getting in my uniform to go hate my life at walgreens. I went back there for the last time Sunday...it was awesome. I felt so stoked to know that I dont have to go back and that I was only there for my last paycheck. Everyone so misses me haha!
Anyways not to overly self promote buuut if you want a facial or want to get rid of some body hair I am your girl and I will hook you up!! My spa is just alot of fun almost all the time so far.
Ive been looking as hard as I can for a place to live that is closer to work...I really need a roomie but Im having a really hard time finding someone that I can trust to pay bills. Does anyone know where or who can help me out?
By the way who has been watching American Idol this year? I actually love the new judges!! I mean I knew I would love Stephen Tyler he is a stone cold fox but I wasnt too sure about JLO, WHAT IN THE WORLD is up with the 15 year old?? She is the most amazing singer Ive ever heard...anyone have any ideas about whos gonna win? Favorites? Been watching it the whole ten years?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Tiny Love
The last few weeks Ive been lurking some cute animals because you know when I have nothing better to do that is what I fill my time with.
I believe when I have my own place I will be getting a few small furry animals and start out on my crazy cat lady career. Well I wont really have a cat unless its hairless or something weird but you get what I mean right? I have always been fascinated by what I cant have and my mom has always been afraid of ferrets. So of course I have wanted one for about 13 years. Hedgehogs are precious and who doesn't love something hairless?? Someone rich support me and gimme a farm please?? Id be most happy!!
Oh and by the way I have 4 whole followers now!! Hello new lady!!! Welcome to the horribly spelled party!!
I believe when I have my own place I will be getting a few small furry animals and start out on my crazy cat lady career. Well I wont really have a cat unless its hairless or something weird but you get what I mean right? I have always been fascinated by what I cant have and my mom has always been afraid of ferrets. So of course I have wanted one for about 13 years. Hedgehogs are precious and who doesn't love something hairless?? Someone rich support me and gimme a farm please?? Id be most happy!!
Oh and by the way I have 4 whole followers now!! Hello new lady!!! Welcome to the horribly spelled party!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
My furbaby
Isnt he the cutest thing you have ever laid your delicate little eyes on??
Hes 50 pounds of love...mixed with some grumpy...but mostly its all love.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Its a new day
Not trying to have a drama blog but I gotta get this offa my chest.
You know it really sucks when you think you found your perfect match and they just end up breaking your heart. I really thought we had a forever kind of thing. I thought we'd be one of the few couples that could last. I actually thought about marriage with this boy. We like most of the same things and could finish each others thoughts. We went on roadtrips, watched endless movies, talked long into the night and never really had any huge fights. He was the first boy to actually treat me like a human, he was caring and there for me when no one else was, but in the end he thought it'd be really cool to get drunk, act like a child, talk shit about me to MY friends that I introduced him to, and try to push me around.
I always knew he was a violent person but he never was to me so I didn't worry. He never really even got too mad at me unless he was being jealous...which actually come to think of it happened quite alot. He is a very possesive person and I am a freebird at heart. He told me I deserved for my grandmother to die, he said he wished I would too, all because one of my ladyfriends, that I hadn't seen in a year, was over to hangout. He was jealous and insensitive when I needed comfort the most because my GRANDMOTHER HAD JUST DIED NO BIG DEAL RIGHT!!!!????
I know some people think "it was only one time" or "he was drunk and didn't mean it" but abuse has always been a no go in my life. I've seen women get the shit kicked out of them time after time and still go back because they are afraid of being alone. I always promised myself, especially after the last relationship I was in, that I would give no second chances if this happened to me. He may "just" push you around the first time but the next he could break an arm...I like my arms I use them in everyday life I don't have time for them to get broken. I also dont have time to baby sit someone whos going to be so sensitive about everything. I am a people person, I thrive on relationships and interaction but everytime I wanted to hangout with someone regarless of gender he would get butthurt and act like I never spent time with him. Read: we spend almost every day together as a result.
I legitimatly thought he loved me and had my best in mind but being drunk is never an excuse to go as far as he did. There is no turning back after that. Being drunk releases whats been on your mind all along and obviously he has had alot of pent up aggression towards me for a while. He never was good at communication even though I tried and tried to encourage it.
Basically it hurts that he'd do this to me, especially under the circumstances and the fact that Im grieving a loss. It hurts that my friends would even tolerate listening to him talk shit about me when I would of defened them to the end. I guess this is just more proof that I need to be done with the old and look forward to the new. I deserve better then some boy who will lie to get what he wants, get overly jealous, drinks too much and may or may not be safe to be around.
I need someone who wont put me on a pedestal and then get crazy when they realize I cant measure up. I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I get angry and hurt, I dont always show emotion but it is there. I wont ever lie down and let someone ruin me.
That is all.
You know it really sucks when you think you found your perfect match and they just end up breaking your heart. I really thought we had a forever kind of thing. I thought we'd be one of the few couples that could last. I actually thought about marriage with this boy. We like most of the same things and could finish each others thoughts. We went on roadtrips, watched endless movies, talked long into the night and never really had any huge fights. He was the first boy to actually treat me like a human, he was caring and there for me when no one else was, but in the end he thought it'd be really cool to get drunk, act like a child, talk shit about me to MY friends that I introduced him to, and try to push me around.
I always knew he was a violent person but he never was to me so I didn't worry. He never really even got too mad at me unless he was being jealous...which actually come to think of it happened quite alot. He is a very possesive person and I am a freebird at heart. He told me I deserved for my grandmother to die, he said he wished I would too, all because one of my ladyfriends, that I hadn't seen in a year, was over to hangout. He was jealous and insensitive when I needed comfort the most because my GRANDMOTHER HAD JUST DIED NO BIG DEAL RIGHT!!!!????
I know some people think "it was only one time" or "he was drunk and didn't mean it" but abuse has always been a no go in my life. I've seen women get the shit kicked out of them time after time and still go back because they are afraid of being alone. I always promised myself, especially after the last relationship I was in, that I would give no second chances if this happened to me. He may "just" push you around the first time but the next he could break an arm...I like my arms I use them in everyday life I don't have time for them to get broken. I also dont have time to baby sit someone whos going to be so sensitive about everything. I am a people person, I thrive on relationships and interaction but everytime I wanted to hangout with someone regarless of gender he would get butthurt and act like I never spent time with him. Read: we spend almost every day together as a result.
I legitimatly thought he loved me and had my best in mind but being drunk is never an excuse to go as far as he did. There is no turning back after that. Being drunk releases whats been on your mind all along and obviously he has had alot of pent up aggression towards me for a while. He never was good at communication even though I tried and tried to encourage it.
Basically it hurts that he'd do this to me, especially under the circumstances and the fact that Im grieving a loss. It hurts that my friends would even tolerate listening to him talk shit about me when I would of defened them to the end. I guess this is just more proof that I need to be done with the old and look forward to the new. I deserve better then some boy who will lie to get what he wants, get overly jealous, drinks too much and may or may not be safe to be around.
I need someone who wont put me on a pedestal and then get crazy when they realize I cant measure up. I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I get angry and hurt, I dont always show emotion but it is there. I wont ever lie down and let someone ruin me.
That is all.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Valentines Day
This "holiday" has never been a big deal to me. Ive never really been into boyfriends and Ive never seen a point in taking a day to celebrate love when we should be loving every single day. This of course is a seldom taken view point but I am ok with that. I decided that I will show yall what I would like and if some randomly friendly boyo happens to see and would enjoy pleasing me then go right ahead. Lord knows I could definitly use some cheering up this week. Its funny I was actually semi excited for this years Vday but after last night I could not care less and will prolly end up eating my weight in Teremisu and watching Jersey Shore reruns. Hoozah yall!!!
Tummies
Tamales
Puppies
More Puppies
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Youll be in my heart
I know that I have written a little about my gama in past blogs and if you are friends with me on Facebook or follow my twitter then you kinda have an idea of whats going on, if not Ill write a little background. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, went through chemo, lost her hair, got wigs, grew back some of the hair, fought on, loved people and lived life even though she was weakening everyday.
October of 2010 came around she was put in the hospital and found out her lungs were filling up with fluid. She was given a week to live and sent home but they didnt count on her being the most stubborn person in the world, she made it through that week and I thought she would start getting better. The first time I saw her she told me that I needed to take care of Bampa and make him accept that she was going to die, that I needed to understand how much she loved me and not to worry cause everything happens for a reason. I really cant explain quite how hard it was to hear my favorite person in the world say that to me. I literally cried for a week straight.
My mom started going over to take care of her everyday and I came on Sundays so Bampa and my mom could go to church without worrying. I read to her, told her alot of what she prolly thought was boring drivel and pestered her to eat. I honestly thought she would stay weak but stable for a lot longer then she did. Slowly she kept getting worse and worse, I kept trying to prepare myself by saying my "final" goodbyes to her everytime I saw her...but of course no one can really be fully prepared for death. A few weeks ago she really got worse so my mom started staying over full time and I came over as work allowed. I know it took a toll on my mom, I didnt even stay over that much but it hit me pretty hard.
My uncle came into town to suprise her a few days ago, she seemed to be really stoked on that.Tuesday I went to see her, she was pretty out of it from the pain meds and couldnt really talk loud enough to hear so I just told her a bunch of mishmash from my days, I told her about going to Savannah and tried to show her pictures though Im sure with her eyesight she couldnt see them. When I was ready to leave she grabbed me and frantically told me how much she loved me and she wanted to make sure I really understood that fact. I wanted to cry but I hated crying in front of her.
Yesterday I started my new job at the spa, my sweet boss gave me the choice of starting next week so I could stay with my gama but I made it through the day and went to see her afterwards. My gama was in a coma and had been since that morning, she was barely breathing. We all took turns sitting with her, I was afraid to walk out of the room but sitting there and seeing her only breathe every few seconds was one of the hardest things Ive had to do. Everytime she stopped breathing my body would too...it hurt to see. I dont understand why she kept fighting to stay alive.
Finally at 9 pm last night she took her last breath. It was snowing like a mad dog but I wimped out and made Jess come get me. I didnt want to be there to see her body get taken away.
I feel completly lost right now, Ive never had anyone this close to me die. My brain is fighting the reality of it. I know it really was best for her, she was suffering but I dont know what I am going to do without her. If you knew her you know she was one of the strongest people alive, she litteraly never complained the whole time she was sick, she was loving, she would ask you about your life and care about the answers though she was stuck in a chair. She was the sick one but she would still worry about everyone else more then herself. All I can think about is how much I am going to miss her, she wont ever sing to me to wake me up, she wont call me just because she wanted to hear my voice, we wont ever work in her yard again, No more cooking together for the holidays or dancing around in her wig to make her laugh. I wanted her to be at my wedding and see my children be born so they could understand what an awesome person she was. I wanted her to see me make something of myself but instead she will be watching me from afar and Ill be stuck here with memories and people telling me the cliche Im sorry for your loss bit.
Im very grateful for the overwhelming amount of love my entire family has recieved the last few months I dont know if I can ever express how much it means. I hope people will read this and understand how important family is and spend as much time as possible with the ones you love because you really dont know how much time you have and you will definitly regret it when that time is cut short.
Im trying to remember her life, the good times, not her death. I wasnt huge on family until really last year and I regret I didnt take more pictures or go see her and Bampa more often. My hearts broken for my poor gramps and the huge hole thats going to be in his life now. I dont really know what else to write...if you knew her and would like to be updated on the funeral status and such let me know.
October of 2010 came around she was put in the hospital and found out her lungs were filling up with fluid. She was given a week to live and sent home but they didnt count on her being the most stubborn person in the world, she made it through that week and I thought she would start getting better. The first time I saw her she told me that I needed to take care of Bampa and make him accept that she was going to die, that I needed to understand how much she loved me and not to worry cause everything happens for a reason. I really cant explain quite how hard it was to hear my favorite person in the world say that to me. I literally cried for a week straight.
My mom started going over to take care of her everyday and I came on Sundays so Bampa and my mom could go to church without worrying. I read to her, told her alot of what she prolly thought was boring drivel and pestered her to eat. I honestly thought she would stay weak but stable for a lot longer then she did. Slowly she kept getting worse and worse, I kept trying to prepare myself by saying my "final" goodbyes to her everytime I saw her...but of course no one can really be fully prepared for death. A few weeks ago she really got worse so my mom started staying over full time and I came over as work allowed. I know it took a toll on my mom, I didnt even stay over that much but it hit me pretty hard.
My uncle came into town to suprise her a few days ago, she seemed to be really stoked on that.Tuesday I went to see her, she was pretty out of it from the pain meds and couldnt really talk loud enough to hear so I just told her a bunch of mishmash from my days, I told her about going to Savannah and tried to show her pictures though Im sure with her eyesight she couldnt see them. When I was ready to leave she grabbed me and frantically told me how much she loved me and she wanted to make sure I really understood that fact. I wanted to cry but I hated crying in front of her.
Yesterday I started my new job at the spa, my sweet boss gave me the choice of starting next week so I could stay with my gama but I made it through the day and went to see her afterwards. My gama was in a coma and had been since that morning, she was barely breathing. We all took turns sitting with her, I was afraid to walk out of the room but sitting there and seeing her only breathe every few seconds was one of the hardest things Ive had to do. Everytime she stopped breathing my body would too...it hurt to see. I dont understand why she kept fighting to stay alive.
Finally at 9 pm last night she took her last breath. It was snowing like a mad dog but I wimped out and made Jess come get me. I didnt want to be there to see her body get taken away.
I feel completly lost right now, Ive never had anyone this close to me die. My brain is fighting the reality of it. I know it really was best for her, she was suffering but I dont know what I am going to do without her. If you knew her you know she was one of the strongest people alive, she litteraly never complained the whole time she was sick, she was loving, she would ask you about your life and care about the answers though she was stuck in a chair. She was the sick one but she would still worry about everyone else more then herself. All I can think about is how much I am going to miss her, she wont ever sing to me to wake me up, she wont call me just because she wanted to hear my voice, we wont ever work in her yard again, No more cooking together for the holidays or dancing around in her wig to make her laugh. I wanted her to be at my wedding and see my children be born so they could understand what an awesome person she was. I wanted her to see me make something of myself but instead she will be watching me from afar and Ill be stuck here with memories and people telling me the cliche Im sorry for your loss bit.
Im very grateful for the overwhelming amount of love my entire family has recieved the last few months I dont know if I can ever express how much it means. I hope people will read this and understand how important family is and spend as much time as possible with the ones you love because you really dont know how much time you have and you will definitly regret it when that time is cut short.
Im trying to remember her life, the good times, not her death. I wasnt huge on family until really last year and I regret I didnt take more pictures or go see her and Bampa more often. My hearts broken for my poor gramps and the huge hole thats going to be in his life now. I dont really know what else to write...if you knew her and would like to be updated on the funeral status and such let me know.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Animal Print Madness
I have a small obsession with animal prints, cheetah of course being my favorite. Over the years Ive recovered a chair, made a dress, bought ridiculous ammounts of clothes and even found some 1" plugs all in lovely animal prints.
I also love anything pinup/retro/50's etc you get the picture...a while back while preparing for a photoshoot I came across this site
pinupgirlclothing.com
Its the mothership for all things old school AND has tons of cheetah print goodness. I adore it!!! The sad part is everything, and I do mean everything is pretty expensive for this bargain loving girl.
Anyways gettting to the point Ive been wanting to get a new bathing suit, with a little more flare and a lot more coverage, for a while when I came across the most perfect one I have ever seen! I will admit I shelled out the dough and bought it eeep...most expensive thing besides a winter coat Ive bought in a good minute. I recieved it in the mail yesterday and immediatly tried it on even though I didnt get home till 1am this morning.
Here is a poor quality picture, I still havent gotten good at taking self photos. I do plan on doing a photoshoot with it so I promise some better pictures will be up oooor you can always mosey on over to the site yourself and see the real deal. You might be tempted to buy everything like I am though.
Isnt it just amazing??!!
I also love anything pinup/retro/50's etc you get the picture...a while back while preparing for a photoshoot I came across this site
pinupgirlclothing.com
Its the mothership for all things old school AND has tons of cheetah print goodness. I adore it!!! The sad part is everything, and I do mean everything is pretty expensive for this bargain loving girl.
Anyways gettting to the point Ive been wanting to get a new bathing suit, with a little more flare and a lot more coverage, for a while when I came across the most perfect one I have ever seen! I will admit I shelled out the dough and bought it eeep...most expensive thing besides a winter coat Ive bought in a good minute. I recieved it in the mail yesterday and immediatly tried it on even though I didnt get home till 1am this morning.
Here is a poor quality picture, I still havent gotten good at taking self photos. I do plan on doing a photoshoot with it so I promise some better pictures will be up oooor you can always mosey on over to the site yourself and see the real deal. You might be tempted to buy everything like I am though.
Isnt it just amazing??!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Georgia Loving (Photo Heavy)
Alrighty so at 9:30 Tuesday night me and my man friend left for Savannah Georgia. We were very excited, cant you tell? We sang many songs and danced in our seats until I got sleepy and went into dream mode. Jess' car always makes me sleepy though Im not sure why.
Next we went to Tybee Island. A sweet little beach community. It was beyond freezing!! Luckily Kat had some clothes in the truck, we dug through it found something warm and headed out to the sand.
First time I have seen my sister in 8 months. We went to huddle house with her boyfriend Dallas upon ariving to Savannah. Poor Jess drove through the night to get us there at 6am, he was a bit loopy Im afraid.
This was right before we crashed for a few hours. As you can see we look higher then all get out.
First stop on our tour of the city was Bonaventure Cemetery. My sister loves all things history expecially cemeteries. Jess made me take this picture please blame him.
Im not too big on gravestones though I do love me anything that has a New Orleansish feel to it. I couldnt get over these gorgeous trees. Legend has it that after the wars moss grew off of all the trees where people had been hung. Kinda creepy but very beautiful.
Kathryn led us to this Jewish mausoleum to feed my Jew obsession. We couldnt go inside it unfortunatly. I meant to throw a penny at it but I was afraid theyd be fighting over it for all eternity.
The fog set in about 4 minutes after getting out in the water. We kept on going and it endded up being very worth it.
The pier was like maybe a half a football field in front of us but as you can see its invisible.
I love this boy more then life. Hes my perfect other half. I need to get some of these pictures put in a collage and framed. We looked a hot wet mess after walking through the fog for a few hours. I never knew that it could leave you dripping and soggy.
He carried me over the sharp shells so my poor feet wouldnt hurt. Such a gentlemen. After Kathryn showed us around the beach we drove downtown but we were so wet and cold we didnt want to walk around. We went back to her house, showered and got ready to go out to eat. We walked down the riverfront to get to a restaurant called Spankys. It was mediocre to say the least buuut I enjoyed it regardless. I got to meet a really awesome girl named Lindsey who is from Seatle. She stoked my fire to travel to Portland pretty hard.
I didnt get too many more pictures of the trip. It wasnt too eventful. The next day after some major snuggling me and Jess ventured back to Tybee alone. We went out to the end of the pier narrowly escaping a mass of pigeons the size of my head.
We were pretty frozen at this point but being the stubborn person I am I wanted to see as much of the beach as possible since I rarely get to go. We walked all over, looking at shops, I bought my sissy a shot glass, and then the cold ended up winning and we left.
We drove around downtown until Kat got off work, went home, ate food, I got sick the rest of the night so we spent it inside, away from the rain, watching movies. The next day we got up went to return her house key to her at her work at the art gallery then we left for Atlanta. I have wanted to eat at the Varsity fooorever so we decided to take the time to do it. We both got a burger and a chili dog...fatties I know but it was sooo yummy. I didnt like the service though, as soon as you enter the door you are bombarded with a buncha ghetto girls yelling "whatll you have whatll you have"...Im not big on loud noises so it bothered me a bit...also that they charge for drink refills. I didnt take anymore pics besides a buttload of my sisters cat Gravy who I hopefully will own as soon as shes fixed. She stayed attached to my side the entired time we were at the house. Isnt she just the cutest thing youve ever seen??
Im pretty happy with the way the last few days have gone. I got a job today at the Trace Resort Store and Spa!! Finally get to get out of Walgreens!! Yall come book a facial with me!! Anyways sorry for the insanly long post but I had a lot to say. Talk to yall later!!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
ADVENTURE TIME
Late tonight me and the man friend will be leaving for the hopefully sunny shores of Savannah Georgia to see my sister!!! She moved down there last May and I havent had time to go see her. We used to hangout all the time when she lived in the Boro and I have missed our good sisterly times horribly. I hear Savannah is really pretty with its beaches and old timey feel.
Ive just come back from yet another interview, hopefully something good will come out of it. Im doing better at not losing heart where jobs are concerned, what happens happens for a reason right? I get a whole week off from Walgreens hell and I plan on taking full advantage of this. I need more blogs to read...suggest some for me?
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